


Begin To Climb

by made_of_trash



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Actual Age Differences, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, American Politics AU, Anxiety, Co-worker To Lovers, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/F, I'm Sorry To Lin Manuel-Miranda, Light BDSM?, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-07-29 00:20:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7662859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/made_of_trash/pseuds/made_of_trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton is a 21 year old college dropout. After a bout of anxiety and depression, he's trying to get his life back on track.</p><p>What better place to do it than at our nation's capital?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One; Mister Jefferson

**Author's Note:**

> First off, I'm apologizing to Lin Manuel-Miranda. Secondly, I'm telling you that this is in no way original because it's been done what, 500 times? This is just my take on the age old Hamilton AU.
> 
> That said, this story will contain mentions of anxiety, panic attacks, depression and thoughts of suicide. Consider yourself warned now.
> 
> Eventual chapters should contain R-rated material, but I won't change the rating until those chapters show up.
> 
> Enjoy the show!

_Okay Alexander, it's just an interview. Hell, it's an **internship** interview. Breathe in, breathe out._

Alexander looked in his bathroom mirror, sighing heavily. He had successfully calmed his nerves, for a moment. Straightening his tie and making sure his ponytail had no fly aways, he made his way out of his small, shared apartment and onto the streets of DC.

The 21 year old had just recently moved to the city, after being kicked out of his New York City home by his ex-fiancée. As Eliza had so eloquently said, "I can't love you anymore. It's over." And thusly slammed the door in his face. After a couple of weeks of sleeping on park benches, an old college friend, Lafayette found him and brought him into his home.

Alexander had spent some time moping, crying, getting high, moping while getting high, and more crying. But, after a long night of discussion with Laff, he decided to put two years of American Studies to work and applied for an internship in the White House itself.

But, of course, his car wasn't cooperating. Growling underneath his breath, he turned the key in the ignition again, hearing the lovely sound of his engine stalling.

"God damn it, not today." He pulled the key from the ignition, sighed, and tried once more, muttering, "Please, please, please work."

It didn't work.

"For fuck's sake!" He shouted, grabbing his bag and slipping the strap over his head, ducking out of the car and walking out onto the sidewalk. Holding up a hand, he hailed for a taxi, seeing multiple pass by. Groaning in frustration, he checked his watch. 9:21; his interview was at 9:30.

He scoffed, waving more frantically. Behind him, he heard a loud whistle, and a yellow cab pulled to a stop. Relief flooded his veins and he moved to the vehicle, before hearing someone clear their throat, and felt himself being shoved out of the way.

"I didn't hail the cab for you darlin'." A southern drawl came from the man who had pushed him. Alexander came face to face with a tall, African American man with wild black hair. He wore a god awful plum colored suit, coupled with a black tie. "Though, it seems like you're in a hurry. Hope you get a cab soon." Then, he had the nerve to wink at Alex as he climbed into the back of the taxi.

Immense loathing filled him. How _dare_ this, this, pretentious _asshole_ stand on the street for two seconds and get a cab, and insult Alex as a final jab? The man spoke to the driver before closing the door, as the other man listened.

"The White House, and step on it."

These words seized Alexander. Well, two could play the rude game, only Alex would have to play it quickly. As the man reached over to close the cab door, Alex slipped into the back next to him, slamming the door and speaking to the cabbie, without giving the other man even a second to complain.

"If you can get to the White House in the next 10 minutes, I'll give you a $20 tip." He stammered, trying to keep the man next to him from protesting. The cabbie peeled away from the curb, throwing Alexander back against the seat. Next to him, the man let out a soft scoff.

"That was a dirty stunt you just pulled." He commented. Alexander looked at him, seeing his eyes narrowed, one eyebrow raised. "I respect it. You obviously get what you want."

That sounded- somewhat -like a compliment. "Um, thank you."

"Hm. What's your name?"

Alex felt his annoyance returning. This man was _actually_ arrogant, and it made him sit straight up. "Alexander Hamilton. And yourself?"

The man seemed startled by the question, like he hadn't been expecting it. "Thomas. Thomas Jefferson."

Now it was Alexander's turn to look suspicious. He knew he'd heard that name before, but where? They hadn't been in college together, the man looked too old for that. So where had he heard that damn name?

The cab stopped at the White House gate, and Alexander gulped, pulling his wallet from his bag. The fare flashed on the screen- $21.45. Plus a twenty dollar tip and...it looked like Alex wouldn't be eating lunch that day. He pulled out his only bill, a 50, staring at the cabbie's outstretched hand. After handing over the fifty, he climbed out of the taxi, fumbling through his bag for his vistor's pass. Behind him, the cab pulled away, and he was left with Thomas.

"Need a little help there?" God damn that annoying accent. Finding his pass, Alex let out a small noise of approval and swiped it through the checkpoint, smiling as the gates swung open. He looked over his shoulder, almost in celebration, and walked onto the property.

And promptly realized that he had no idea where he was going.

Jefferson walked up behind him, resting a hand at the base of his spine. Alexander's skin crawled as he was led along, the sound of his voice not helping the sensation.

"Due to the fact that I've never met you before, and you don't know who I am, I'm assuming you're the new intern. Or you're going to be. So I'll get you to your interview," He flashed his ID to the secretary, and the two passed into the building. Alexander tried to tune him out as they walked, but Jefferson was relentless. "And in exchange, you'll bring my coffee to my desk every morning. As a token of your gratitude."

"That's assuming I even get the job." Alex spat. The hand on his back was uncomfortable, and this man was way too cocky for Alexander's taste. He obviously would have a problem with him, whoever he was.

"It's Burr interviewing you. You're going to get the job." They stopped in front of a white door, the golden name plate reading Aaron Burr. "I drink a iced, skinny caramel macchiato with two pump chocolate. They'll tell you where my office is tomorrow."

He patted Alex's back and knocked on the door for him, removing his hand. The man immediately felt better, and stood straighter as the door opened. A man answered it, and a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes broke across his face. He held out his hand to Alex.

"Aaron Burr, and I assume you're Alexander?" He questioned. Alex took his hand and shook it gratefully, nodding. Mr. Burr's eyes then slid to the man next to him, his smile becoming tighter. "And Congressman Jefferson. Can I help you today?"

Realization slapped Alex in the face. Congressman Jefferson, as in the multi-millionaire from Virgina, had shared a cab with him. Embarrassment rolled over him and he ducked his head in shame, realizing what a mistake he had made.

The Congressman wasn't fazed by Burr's actions and bid them adieu. He disappeared down the hallway, making Alex look back to Burr. The man stepped out of the way, letting the younger man enter.

"Shall we get started, Mr. Hamilton?"

 

~*~

  
Alex got the job.

He left the White House with a semi spring in his step. He knew that he wasn't being paid for what he'd be doing, but still, he was in on the ground floor. And that was a start.

Laff was seated on the couch, next to a mutual friend, Hercules Mulligan. They were playing video games on the X-Box, and Alex had walked in right as Laff had lost at whatever they were playing.

"Merde, Mulligan!" He sh outed, slapping the larger man's arm. Hercules laughed, wrapping his arm around his shoulders, giving him a kiss on the head.

"Don't blame me, Ri! I'm just good at Battleblock." He laughed. Laff shoved him off, pouting. Alex set down his bag and closed the door, alerting them of his presence. They turned and Laff jumped up, running over and hugging his roommate.

"Hammie! Amoureux, how was the interview?" He asked, kissing his cheeks. Alex smiled, walking over and sitting down next to Hercules.

"I got it." He said softly, almost not believing it himself.

"Hm? Say again?" Laff asked, taking his seat back. Alex pulled his hair from the ponytail, shook it out, and spoke giddily.

"I got the job." He exclaimed. Hercules shouted a congratulatory statement and dropped an arm around him, pulling him close. Laff took that opportunity to kill him, making the man shout.

"Not fair Ri!" He released Alex and went back to playing, making him smile. Leaving the two to their devices, Alex walked into the kitchen, grabbing a half empty bottle of vodka. He thought he deserved a celebratory drink.

Walking to his room, Alex opened the bottle with his teeth, drinking as he pulled out his phone. He had given Burr his number, and the man had sent him a quick text as he left.

_Tomorrow, be in the lobby at 8. I'll meet you and give you your ID. And then, anyone who asks you to do something, you do it. -A. Burr_

Alex set an alarm for 7. That should give him enough time to get ready and get there by 8.

He took a seat on his bed, still drinking from the bottle. It was only half full, it wouldn't hurt to finish the whole thing, right?


	2. Two; An Assistant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander moves up the corporate ladder- just not in the way that he'd hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so bad ; - ; what am I even doing with my life?? Anyway, hope y'all like this chapter, nothing too major happens except that Charles Lee is an ass.

Alexander woke up to the shrill sound of an alarm. He groaned and rolled over, hitting blindly until he found the source of the noise, and shut it off. In his movement, his hand collided with something glass. Closing his fingers around it, he pulled it up to meet his blurry eyes. He vaguely read Absolut before his eyes drifted shut again.

Horror shot through his body, making him fling upright. The events of the previous day came flooding back in, and he threw off his comforter, hearing the thud of his cellphone hitting the floor. No time to worry, he thought as he snatched it from the floor. He checked the time warily, scared of what he'd see.

7:38.

"Fuck!" He yelled, stripping as fast as possible. Turning on a boiling shower, he threw himself under the stream, the heat making him wake up more than he was. He washed, ran his fingers through his hair, created a quick ponytail, and dressed in, what was to him, record time. He read through various texts as he scrambled to put all of his things together, praying that his car would work.

_From A. Burr;  
I'm already in the lobby, just so you're aware. -7:30 am_

_From A. Burr;  
Jefferson has your number, he asked me for it after work yesterday. Fair warning. -7:32 am_

_From Unknown Number;  
Don't forget my coffee Hamilton. And make it a Grande. -7:10 am_

_From Lagayette;  
hercules and I went back to his place for the night so you could rest well mon amour -1:53 am_

_From Hercccc;  
good luck today man, have you seen the news lately? i would not want to be you rn -5:49 am_

No, Alex hadn't seen the news. Once in his car, he set down his phone, sent a silent prayer to whatever God there was, and tried to start it.

The car cooperated.

Alex almost screamed in success and raced out of the parking lot, turning the radio onto the news. He was a little behind schedule, but he had to get that coffee. Dissing a congressman didn't seem like a grand idea to him.

"And in other news, President George Washington is to give a speech at the end of the week, but trouble seems to be brewing for the White House." A female newscaster spoke. Black eyebrows came together on Alex's head as he pulled into the Starbucks drive through. He ordered Jefferson's ridiculous drink as he listened. "Presidential speechwriter and close friend of Mr. Washington, Charles Lee, resigned this morning, leaving the White House in disarray. Because not only did he resign, he gave out private information over live radio this morning at 3:40 am."

The woman's voice cut away to Charles himself, over what sounded like a phone call. Alex swiped his guest pass again and drove onto the lot, watching as press tried swarming the gate he had just passed through.

"President Washington is hiding secrets from the American people. While they've been believing in everything the President has done, he's been making deals with foreign countries and sending money across the ocean. Congress knows too, and they're keeping quiet because of the extra money that's been seemingly disappearing from government funds." Alex wrinkled his nose in disgust. And the press _believed_ this guy? How is it possible that he was the one responsible for writing the president's amazing and moving speeches?

Cutting the ignition, Alexander walked into the building, and into a flurry of activity. People ran about, making phone calls and shouting at one another. Through the madness, Alexander spotted Burr. He made his was to him, hearing him end a phone call.

"No, no, don't say anything. Theo, just stay in the house today, okay? If they ask you anything, remember what I taught you." He took a slight pause, then smiled. "Perfect. Alright, I'll see you when I get home sweetie. I love you." He hung up and saw Alex, sighing heavily.

"Things are?" Alex prompted. Burr handed him his ID and stood, motioning for Alex to follow.

"Going to shit. I have to address the nation tonight to keep a riot from starting." He spat. "I told Washington not to put a Republican in that seat."

"And I'm just going to follow orders all day?" Alex asked, adjusting his bag. Aaron shook his head.

"Actually, you're standing in as an assistant. When Charles left, he didn't go alone. A few people decided to go with him."

"Oh," Alex said, perking up. "That's cool. At least I get to work with you, considering you're the only person I know."

"You aren't working with me," Burr corrected him, stopping in front of an office. "You're working with the only other person you know here."

"But, I don't know any-" He cut himself off as Burr looked at him, an eyebrow cocked. Oh _hell_ no. There was no way that they would make him.

Burr, seemingly reading his thoughts, patted his shoulder and departed, leaving Alex alone. The man bit back his curse and knocked on the door, his eyes almost automatically rolling. From the other side, he heard a shouted, "Come in!" He entered, seeing Jefferson at his desk, a landline phone sandwiched between his shoulder and ear, typing on a laptop.

"Yes, I'm addressing with Burr tonight on behalf of Congress. No, I don't stand with Charles- okay, just because we're both Republican does not mean I agree with him! Well, I'm sorry Angelica, you're going to have to deal with me as well. We all agreed that I would speak." He looked to Alexander, motioning for him to close the door. He did so, then resumed his awkward standing in the center of the room.

The office was a dark brown, drastically rivaling the whites and pastels outside. His desk took up almost the whole back wall, with bookshelves on either side of the room. And seated next to the door was another, smaller desk with a laptop and landline.

"Well then, Senator Schuyler, I'll see you tonight." The call ended and Jefferson ran a hand down his face, obviously frustrated. His eyes flicked to Hamilton and he held out his hand for his coffee, which the man passed over.

"The ice may be a bit melted, I was running late this morning." He apologized. Jefferson snorted.

"No kidding. Everyone decides to go crazy on the day the government is crumbling." Still, he inhales almost half of the drink, looking almost relieved. "Still, it'll do. Now, that's your desk over there, and until I can find a new assistant, it's you. You'll take calls for me, respond to emails, read over drafts and sometimes help me create speeches. Whenever I'm here, you're here, and that means the entire time. You are just an intern, but I'll be paying you $30 per hour, my normal rate for assistants. I expect you to be on call 24/7, do I make myself clear? One mess up, and I can ruin you. Got it?"

Alex's chest puffed at the threat. He nodded, not wanting to show his underlying nervousness. Jefferson gave him a quick nod and then went back to his computer, leaving Alex to head to his own.

Upon opening the laptop, he saw what Jefferson meant. Email after email was pouring in, and the phones on both of their desks hardly ever stopped ringing. Hamilton didn't answer the first call, successfully pissing off Jefferson. He was then walked through how to answer a call, since it was his first day.

"You've reached the office of Senator Jefferson, how may I help you?" Alex sounded like a perky robot, it disgusted him. However, he saw Jefferson nod in approval, making him feel a bit more assured about the action.

"You're a new voice." The other end rumbled. Alex recognized that voice.

 _I am on the phone, with the leader of the free world._ Alex thought. _Holy shit, his voice is so much deeper than on TV!_

"Tell Jefferson I need him in my office at 11. Thank you..." He trailed off, not knowing Alex's name.

"Hamilton, Alexander Hamilton, sir!" He jumped to speak. The man laughed a bit.

"Thank you Alexander." He then hung up, leaving Hamilton star struck. Jefferson stared at him, calling out to him.

"Hamilton, are you in there?"

The man nodded, setting down the phone. "The president wants to see you at 11."

Jefferson groaned. "Alright, great. As if my day wasn't busy enough. Did he say why?"

"No." Alex breathed. He just _spoke_ to the _president_. And he didn't stutter once!

"You can stop looking like a love struck teenager you know. He's just a guy." Jefferson commented, making Alex grimace. He was just in awe, he wasn't acting like a teenager.

"Sorry if I think that talking to the president is incredible. I don't have the liberty to do that everyday." Alex shot back, turning back to his laptop. He heard Jefferson fall silent, making him smirk. _Take that you obnoxious asshole._

His thoughts were cut off by the sight of his laptop closing, and a hand under his chin.

"Someone has a mouth on them, huh?" Alex looked directly into Jefferson's eyes, and swallowed quite audibly. In this position- seated, short, actually craning his neck to see the man in front of him -he felt very vulnerable. But, this teasing in Jefferson's voice made his annoyance resurface.

"Yeah, but it seems like you do too. Are you always so insufferable?" Alex questioned, cocking an eyebrow. The congressman's eyes narrowed and he leaned down, his face a breath away from Alex's.

"That depends, are you always this disrespectful?" He shoots back, making Alexander rolls his eyes. "I assumed so."

Alex bares his teeth, anger rippling off of him. Jefferson laughs slightly, releasing Alex's chin and pinching his nose.

"Very cute. Get back to work, Hamilton." He walks back to his desk, grabbing his cell phone. "I'll be back later, and you'll be staying here."

Jefferson leaves the room, Alex making a face after him, putting on a fake Southern accent.

"'Very cute,'" He says mockingly. "Jesus, now I see why his assistant left."

A vibration from his phone a while later almost made him jump out of his skin. He pulled the phone from his pocket, seeing that Hercules was calling him. Deciding that he could take a short break, he answered.

"Herc, what's up?" He began, leaning back in his chair.

"Are you dead? How's work? What's happening down there man?" He spoke quickly, reminding him of Laff.

"I'm not dead, I've been working non-stop all day, and shit has hit the fan." Alex pressed his phone on his shoulder, reaching to grab a water bottle from his bag.

"Damn. What's an intern doing all day?" Hercules mused. Alex sighed, setting down his water.

"Actually, I kinda got promoted? I'm working as a temporary assistant to Congressman Thomas Jefferson." He explained. "And Jesus, he is so annoying! I swear, he's condescending and rude and disrespectful and treats me like I'm some sort of kid-"

"I wonder why." Hercules laughs, but Alex talks over him as if he didn't hear.

"-and he just did something really weird. Like, I mouthed off to him and he grabbed me by the chin and almost forced me to look at him. It was a strange experience, kinda like a shame thing? I was supposed to feel ashamed and looking that deeply at him almost made it happen-"

"Alex, Alex!" Hercules cut him off. The man relished in the silence, then spoke again. "Maybe he's trying to teach you obedience, God help him."

"Obedience?" Alex questions. "He can kiss my ass, I'm not obedient for anyone, _especially_ not to stuck-up, know it all, pretentious bastards who think just because they're in a high place they can walk all over other people-"

"Goodbye Alex." Hercules laughed, hanging up. Alex glowered, setting his phone down. The mere thought of Jefferson trying to- what, tame him? -was infuriating. Alex was not some little kid who needed to be taught right from wrong.

Popping open his laptop, Alex began flying through emails, responding to Senators, Congressmen, taking down names and scheduling appointments. If Jefferson wanted an assistant, he would get the best damn assistant he could have asked for.

Around 3, the door to the office opened. Jefferson walked in, looking over to Alexander. The man was on the phone, taking down notes as he spoke.

"Okay, thank you very much Ms. Holiday, I'll be sure to let him know. Okay, goodbye now!" He hung up the phone and looked back to his computer, typing furiously. "You have a dinner date with Mr. Madison tonight at 8, Mr. Burr and Senator Schuyler would like to meet with you before the press conference tonight, tomorrow at 9:45 you have a conference with congress, and there have been 2 bills dropped off for you to review before your conference."

Jefferson's eyes narrowed. "My speech for tonight-"

"Reviewed, edited, typed and revised." Alex nodded to the man's desk, making him walk over and lift it, a small noise of shock being drawn from his throat. Alex smiled smugly. He'd taken the liberty to print, bind and stamp the speech, leaving Jefferson's sole mark on it. The man would get credit for the work he did, not that he cared.

"The bills from congress-"

"Read and sent to you. Both are very controversial topics." Alexander was on top of his shit. Pride seemed to radiate off of him as he spoke. "You also received calls from Senator Schuyler, Congressman Madison, a woman by only the name of Sally, and Charles Lee himself. I spoke with them and left notes about the calls on your desk."

Jefferson nodded silently, taking a seat at his desk, reading over the speech. Alex fell into the silence as well, casually typing away. After what seemed like hours, Jefferson spoke.

"My press conference is in 30 minutes, you may leave, Hamilton." He didn't need to be told twice. Gathering all of his things, his stomach growled loudly at his lack food for the day. "I expect you here tomorrow, 7 am, sharp. With my coffee in hand."

"Of course." Alex spoke diligently, not letting his loathing show.

"Of course, what?"

Now he was just egging him on. With gritted teeth, Alex muttered, "Of course, sir."

Jefferson seemed to accept it and bid him good evening. Alex fled from the building whipping out his cell phone as he went.

_To JLaurens;  
Dinner at Applebee's?_

_To AdotHam;  
Sure, meet in 10?_

_To JLaurens;  
Yeah, I'll see you there_


	3. Three; A Challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander realizes that Jefferson isn't exactly who he thought he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3, not quite sure where this is going but I hope you enjoy it? Peace

Alex slid into the booth across from John, sighing as he removed his tie. The man looked at him from over the menu, a soft smile on his face.

"I ordered you a beer already. You seem like you've had a rough day." John says, and suddenly, Alex's chest is warm, and he's smiling. The Laurens boy always seemed to have that affect on him.

"I have, but I have a feeling you're going to make it better." Alex said truthfully, picking up the other menu. John chuckled, shaking his head. "How's school?"

"Ugh, I hate it." John groaned, setting down his menu. "I know I signed up for it and that medical school is no laughing matter, but Jesus, I hate it! We're supposed to be working on..."

Alex tuned out as John spoke, his eyes flicking to a television above the bar. A sports channel played quietly, making Alex frown. The restaurant was relatively empty, with it being a Tuesday night. _Maybe_ , he thought, _I can have them switch to a news station before Jefferson goes on._

"But anyway, that's how I've been. What about you, and your new job?" John questioned, spurring Alex's attention. The man smiled, looking back to his friend.

"It's escalated." Alex answered truthfully.

"Do tell." John spoke excitedly as their waiter approached. A beer was set in front of both of the men, and they placed their orders.

"Hey, could you switch the TV to CBS? Or any news station that would be playing the White House address." Alex requested to the waiter, who passed it on to the bar tender.

John quirked a brow. "Have to do with your job?"

"Yeah, my temporary boss is addressing the nation on behalf of congress today."

"Temporary? Spill, this sounds like a good story."

Alex smiled and relayed the story to John. Once 6 rolled around, the two men focused their attention on the TV, eating as Aaron Burr took to the podium.

"As of 3 am, last night, Charles Lee resigned from his position as the presidential speech writer. He also released multiple statements about our president and government, that are not true." The crowd murmured to one another as Burr paused for effect. "Tonight, I stand before you, the nation, to clear the air. Our president is not at fault for Lee's anger. He is a great man, that you chose. When he told our people that he was honest, he meant it."

Burr continued, leaving Alex in awe. The man who seemed soft spoken had an amazing way with words, though he lacked in charisma. Still, the speech made the room silent.

"And now, I will open up the podium to questions, which will be taken by New York Senator Angelica Schuyler and Congressman Thomas Jefferson." Burr stepped down, and the room exploded into noise as the two approached the podium. Questions were pouring in from all angles, making Alex flinch. His interest in American politics was piqued, but those reporters seemed relentless.

"Can we trust congress?"

"Our congress is not corrupt, as Lee claimed." Thomas spoke, his voice dimming some of the noise. "We are a balanced, chosen few who cannot be swayed by a few rough words or quick bucks."

"Is the Senate going to demand a trail on Mr. Lee?"

"We have not yet discussed whether we will hold a trail, but Lee will not be allowed to speak of our nation in such a manner." Angelica informed them, making John whistle lowly.

"Damn, and you work for them? Those people are going to eat you alive." He spoke honestly. Alex threw one of his fries at him, making John laugh.

"For your information, I can hold my own. They will not eat me." Alex hardly finished his sentence before John was talking again.

"Yeah, but Alex, those people are relentless. I mean, have you seen Jefferson's debates with democrats? He will not let your big mouth get anything past him." He informed. Alex's mouth slammed shut. With him being strongly liberal, maybe working under Jefferson wasn't such a great idea.

"I don't know, but I'm not abandoning this job. 30 bucks an hour, John. I'll handle it."

"I certainly hope you can." John sighed. "Cause if not, I don't think you'll ever forget it."

~*~

Coffee in hand, Alex walked into Jefferson's office at 6:59. The man looked up at him as he set down the drink wordlessly, moving over to his desk.

"Good morning to you too." Jefferson mumbled, grabbing his drink. Alex hummed, sitting down and opening the laptop.

"Good morning Mr. Jefferson." Ugh, the words were almost vile to say. He couldn't help the small cringe that came with it.

"Hm, what was that?" Jefferson said smugly, making Alex roll his eyes. Of course he noticed, the man seemingly made it his job to make Alex uncomfortable.

"I said, good morning."

"Oh no," Jefferson teased. "I think that sentence isn't complete. Repeat yourself."

Alexander swallowed back his words. _You need this job, asshole. Don't ruin it because he's a motherfucking cock sucking son of a-_

"Hamilton."

"Good morning Mr. Jefferson." Alex spat out, plopping down at his desk. Opening up his laptop, he got ready for what would most likely be another tedious day of working with that prick.

~*~

And for two weeks, Alexander dealt with Jefferson's annoying comments and fervent work schedule. Most of his nights were spent doing extra work Jefferson seemed to give him just for the sake of shits and giggles. And during the day, he was running errands, reviewing speeches, reading bills, and whatever else he was given.

Alex sat at his desk on the two week anniversary of recieving his new job, reading over a bill that was said to pass that evening. As he read, anger mounted inside his chest. Sure, gay people were allowed to be married now, but this bill claimed that federal agencies were legally allowed to turn away gay couples looking to adopt. And Jefferson was signing off on it? After all the comments the man had made about Alex and his... _body_ , he couldn't be straight.

"Hamilton, you're boring."

His head snapped up at that comment, his face flushing red. "Excuse me?"

"You had so much life when I met you in that cab, and on your first day as my assistant." Jefferson put his hands behind his neck, looking at Alex with his eyes hooded. "Now you're just a 'yes sir', 'no sir' guy, and it's boring."

"With all due respect, you asked for an assistant." Alex shot back. "Not a friend."

Jefferson laughed, "No, I don't want to be your friend. But I thought you'd at least be a challenge before you got quiet."

"I'm just doing my job." Alex quipped. "But honestly, this job sucks. I have to read over bills like this shit, saying that gay couples shouldn't be able to adopt! That's bullshit! Those kids could be going to a completely amazing gay couple who would love them like their own children because _they can't have children!_ But no, this bill is going to take away from gay couples being regular and happy as a family! Like, what's the fuck-"

"See, there's that excitement!" Jefferson shouted. Alex's mouth snapped closed. He'd been baited. "I knew you had it in there."

"You tricked me." Alex stated, sitting back against his chair.

"I wanted to see you passionate." Jefferson admitted.

"Why?"

"Because I knew you were. I don't know why you're holding yourself back here. If you wanted one of these jobs, you could grab one. I know you never finished college, but you can obviously hold your own against these people. I don't agree with that bill either." Jefferson sighed. Alex's eyebrows raised. "And yes, since you obviously know nothing about me, it's because I'm gay."

Alexander was dumbstruck. Words failed him. Conservative, gay, and wanted Alex to challenge him? This was either a trap or...this guy wasn't as bad as he thought.

"Then fight it."

"Excuse me?" Jefferson asked.

"You don't like the bill. Fight it. You're a congressman. You don't have to bend for them." Alex mentioned. Jefferson looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"Maybe I will. You know, you're a smart kid, Alexander."

"Not a kid." Alex pointed out.

"To me you are." Jefferson chuckled. The two went back to their own work, only mentioning things every once in a while.

Finally, the day's end rolled around. As Alex was packing up, a hand touched his shoulder. Looking up, he came face to face with his boss.

"Tomorrow, there's a presidential gala. I'm short on a partner right now, so I'm bringing you. Give me your address tomorrow."

"Wait-"

"This isn't negotiable Hamilton." Jefferson told him, patting his shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow."

_Well._

_Fuck._


	4. Four; A Presidential Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander accompanies Jefferson to the president's ball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have quite a few chapters written at this point, so I'm trying to update every day, but when those chapters are done, it'll probably be every few days. Enjoy as the sexual tension mounts!

Alex stood in front of his bedroom mirror, glaring at his reflection. He'd given Jefferson his address earlier that morning, and now was prepping for the gala that evening.

"It's a black tie event." Jefferson had told him. "So try and look...not like you haven't slept in a few days."

He'd borrowed a suit from Laff, but it hung on him awkwardly, and was obviously not made for someone so thin. Movements in it made the suit almost eat him, and trying to pin it would take hours.

"Jesus." He whispered, sitting down on his bed. Why'd Jefferson have to bring him? Was it tradition that all bosses brought their assistants to presidential events? And why even was there a presidential gala that night?

Working under Jefferson for almost a month made him nervous. The man was trusting Alex much more, which meant he knew things that were probably only to be released under special clearance. But still, the glances whenever Alex wore a specific pair of pants, the hand which never seemed to leave the small of his back, and the chest puffing when people came close to Alex were strange. The shows of affection- if he could call that affection- were never quite normal to him. Not once did he or John act that possessive, nor did he act that way with Eliza.

Alex wasn't sure what to make of Jefferson.

He also wasn't sure why those actions made him melt.

The clock on his phone ticked slowly, approaching 6. The man known for being meticulous with time said he would be there at 6, and Alex should be ready. So, he stood up, straightened the suit to look as not lumpy as possible, and stepped out into his living room.

Laff looked up upon his entry, a soft smile on his face. "You look so cute Hammie! Like a little kid playing dress-up."

"Yeah, thanks." He muttered, smoothing down any stray strands of hair. "That's exactly what I was going for."

"Oh, don't get upset _mon petit lion_. I still said you look cute." He said, blowing Alex a kiss. The man begrudgingly caught it, shoving his phone into his pocket. The second the clock struck 6, a knock resounded on their front door.

"Bye Laff, don't wait up." Alex bid his friend goodbye as he made his way to the door. He pushed it open and was pulled outside by Jefferson, the door slamming behind him. "Um, excuse me, what the fu-"

"Don't like being late, Hamilton. So pick up your goddamn feet, I want to be there before the president." Jefferson pulled him along, looking at his watch. Alex rolled his eyes as he was pushed into a discreet black car, with tinted windows. Jefferson quickly climbed in beside him, and they peeled away from the curb.

"Well, sorry. I wasn't aware being right on the dot was late." Alex snarked, making Jefferson scoff.

"I gave you 30 extra minutes; I wanted to be there by 5:30."

Alexander laughed unhumorously. "Excuse me then, Your Majesty. Would you like me to dote on you all night as well?"

"Something tells me that your doting would be embarrassing me in front of my boss and his wife." Jefferson leaned back against the seat, straightening his jacket. Alex glanced over at him, getting his first true look of the man that night.

He was wearing a deep purple suit, much darker than any Alex had seen beforehand. His hair was pulled into a tight ponytail, a golden watch seated on his wrist. In a freak moment, Alex thought he looked like Laff.

Shaking that thought from his head, Alex followed suit, leaning against the window. "Why're you not driving your car?"

"It's in the shop. When my assistant left, she took a bat to it." He explained, looking over to Alex when he laughed. "Don't laugh, it was a nice car. It didn't deserve that."

"But she took a bat to it!" Alex laughed, covering his mouth with his hands, snickering into them. "That's fucking incredible!"

Alex felt the hand. _The_ hand, the one on his back. His laughter died and he sat up straight, feeling another hand cup his chin. His head was turned to find Jefferson a breath away, his gaze hard.

"Want to repeat that, Alexander?"

Shivers ran up and down his spine. It was the first time Jefferson had used his name, and it had to happen when said man was looking at him like a wolf would eye a deer.

 _Fuck_ , Alex thought, _I feel like a deer caught in headlights right now._

"Well, Hamilton? I'm waiting." Jefferson growled, making Alex whimper. Where had _that_ come from, and why the hell was it affecting him so much?

"I, I didn't say anything." Alex stammered, making the hand pull him closer. He could feel the other man's breath fanning across his lips, and it was not unpleasant.

"I think you did."

Before Alex could reply, the car slid to a halt. Jefferson released him and moved away, acting as if nothing happened. He opened his door and stepped out, gesturing for Alex to follow.

The smaller man rested a hand on his forehead, opening the car door and dropping onto the ground.

What on earth _was_ that?

~*~

The gala, Alex learned, was for George Washington, in honor of his 8th year as president. It was sort of a going away party, but no one seemed to be upset. The room was lively and animated, making Alex feel nervous.

 _The_ hand had returned the moment they'd stepped into the room, but this time was no where near as close- and oddly arousing- as last time. Jefferson bent to whisper in Alex's ear, keeping him close.

"Stay with me unless I say otherwise. All I'm really doing is circling, saying my thanks to George, and then we can ditch." And then, Alex was walking with Jefferson, smiling mutely as the man spoke with Senators, members of the president's cabinet, and other congressmen. This, however, gave him time to survey his surroundings.

They were in The White House, more specifically, the East Room. The presidential band played music over by the back wall, and waiters walked about, offering hors d'oeuvres and glasses of champagne. Alex held one in his hand, vaguely aware of Jefferson's speaking, but was not quite paying attention to the words.

"Mr. Hamilton!" A voice caught his attention. Turning, he saw Aaron making his way over, a short girl on his arm. Alex's face lit up in a smile.

"Aaron Burr, sir." He greeted the man with a swift handshake. The girl next to him held out a dainty hand and he took it, giving her a warm smile.

"Alexander, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Theodosia Burr." The girl was beautiful, with dark skin and curly black hair. She wore a white gown, drastically rivaling the others in the room.

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Hamilton." Her voice was soft, and accented. If she had gotten the looks from her mother, her voice had definitely come from Aaron.

"And you as well, Ms. Burr."

The three held a short conversation, Alex learning that Theodosia was only 16, and was attending a private school, where she excelled in literature.

"That's incredible, literature was always my best subject. I just fell in love with words." Alex commented. She smiled, nodding excitedly.

"Exactly! I write so frequently, my dad worries about me sometimes!" She laughed. Alexander followed suit.

"Mr. Burr, if your daughter is so charismatic, why aren't you?" Alex joked, making the man smile.

"Careful Alexander, fools who run their mouths off, wind up dead." He winked at the man, making Alexander shake his head. _The_ hand tightened it's grip and Alex sighed, bidding goodbye to the Burrs.

Jefferson talked and moved, moved and talked. All in all, the night was seemingly very boring to Alexander.

"Hey, go grab another glass of champagne for me, if you don't mind." He asked Alex, and he was more than happy to comply. Pulling away from _the_ hand, Alex moved through the crowded room, trying to track down a waiter.

 _One second ago, they were everywhere!_ Alex thought. He circled the room quite a few times, ending up completely opposite from Jefferson. In fact, he couldn't even see Jefferson.

His breath caught in his throat. _Okay, he thought, just calm down. Find Burr, or Angelica, hell, even Theodosia. There has to be someone who you know here._

All he could see was a see of unknown people.

His heart hammered in his chest, a sweat breaking out on his forehead. Jefferson was the only thing grounding him, he would give anything to have that hand back. Without him, he was in a room full of complete strangers, and-

He leaned against the wall, closing his eyes. He took a deep breath and counted- _1, 2, 3, 4, 5_ \- and exhaled. Okay, now, find a waiter, ask if they've seen Jefferson, and get back to him. Simple as that.

He opened his eyes as someone leaned on the wall next to him. The man was tall, with greying black hair. Still, he wore an impeccable suit, with the shoes and belt matching. Alex felt out-of-place.

"Finally break away from Jefferson? Good, he was keeping you on a leash." The man commented, his voice accented. So he'd been _watching_ Alexander. Nervousness creeped through him, making him stand straight. Where was that goddamned southerner when Alex needed him?

"But you are a pretty little thing. Maybe that's why he hasn't let you go all evening." The words sent a chill through Alex, making him take a step back. The man didn't seem to notice, or rather, he didn't care, and took a step forward.

"Mr. Jefferson is my boss, he's one of the only people I know here." Alex defended, fisting his hands in Laff's suit jacket.

"Well, I can change that." He held out his hand, a smile in which Alex could only describe as predatory, painted across his face. "Samuel Seabury."

"A-Alexander Hamilton." He prayed his hands weren't shaking. They shook hands, the man's grip lasting a few seconds too long. He wanted Jefferson, he wanted that comfort back.

"You're a bit young for Jefferson's usual taste, and he's never once gone after a Latino." His eyes roamed Alex's body, making him shudder. "But luckily, I have."

"He-He's just my b-boss." His voice was cracking, and his hands were shaking, panic was rising in his chest and the look this man was giving him was not one that Alex liked, not at all, and all of his willpower was going into not hyperventilating-

A hand slipped against his spine. The smell of expensive cologne engulfed him, and all of the tension in his body was released. His head dropped against Jefferson's shoulder, making the male twitch, but hardly.

"Seabury." His voice was hard, making Alex feel safe. He obviously has no care for the man in front of them either.

"Jefferson, I was just admiring your new," He looked between Alex and his boss, his gaze affecting him much less now. "Assistant. He's beautiful."

Alex pushed his face into Jefferson's neck. The hand slipped down to his waist, pulling Alex closer.

He was ashamed to admit how comfortable he felt.

"Thank you Samuel. If you don't mind, we'll be going now." The two shook hands, and Alex shook his as well, feeling a small piece of paper pass into his grip. Then, he was led from the building, and set back in the car. While Jefferson walked to the other side, he slid the paper into his pocket.

"If I ever catch him talking to you again, I'm going to set him on fire." He muttered, slamming the door. "He's bad news, Alexander. Don't trust him."

"That won't be an issue. He gives me the creeps." Alex shuddered. Jefferson smiled warily.

"Thank god for that. Be careful, alright? Politicians are merciless."

"Even you?" Alex prompted, then wished he hadn't. Jefferson flinched slightly, then nodded.

"Even me. But I'll tell you that story some other time."

The two sat in silence, their knees brushing with the movement of the car. Alex could feel where Jefferson's hand has been, like the sensation was burned into his flesh.

And he wanted it back.

Soon, they pulled up in front of Alex's apartment. Neither made a move to leave. Alex's mind was racing with questions, none of which he would ever ask Jefferson. Slowly, he moved to leave the car.

"Wait." Alex froze, turning to face his boss. A warm hand cupped his face, and Alex's eyes fluttered shut.

 _Wait, is he about to kiss me?_ He thought. _Do I want him to kiss me? Do I want to kiss **him**? Is he going to kiss me? He's my boss, isn't that illegal or something?!_

Jefferson moved closer, and Alex's mind went blank. The car was silent as they grew close, their lips so close, Jefferson could probably feel Alex's trembling.

_Come on, just lean forward, you dick._

And then the warmth was gone. Alex opened his eyes and saw Jefferson, looking serious.

"Goodnight Alexander."

Wait, what?

"I'm sorry, wh-"

Jefferson cut him off. "It's late. I'll see you at work. 7 sharp."

Alex climbed out of the car, feeling cold. He watched it pull away in silence, his chest filled with slight despair. Why didn't he kiss him?

As he walked up to his door, he pulled his keys from his pocket. _The real question,_ he thought, _was why did I want him to?_

The apartment was silent as he made his way through, his mind even more disturbed. Jefferson had been comforting all night, and when they'd separated, Alex almost had a panic attack. Yet, if you had told Alex a month ago that he'd panic without Jefferson, you'd probably have gotten a fist to the nose.

As he undressed, the paper Samuel had given him fluttered to the ground. He picked it up, unfolding it.

**If you want a change of pace.  
-Samuel**

Listed below that was a phone number.

Alex stared at the paper, remembering how creepy Samuel was, and how much he disliked the man's presence.

Then he remembered what happened with Jefferson.

Alex put the number in his phone.


	5. Five; The Apartment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander learns both more and less about Jefferson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five of this mess, hope you enjoy whatever is happening.

The plan Alexander had come up with went as so;

1, pretend nothing happened between him and Jefferson.

2, work until he could afford to get his own apartment.

3, get enough money in savings so that he could live off no income for a while.

4, quit his current job.

5, find a new job and completely and totally forget about Thomas Jefferson.

In his mind, the plan was foolproof. Obviously, there was no way Jefferson would want to mention what had almost happened between them, so in return, Alexander wouldn't either. The two could work in awkward silences until Alex blew that popsicle stand.

There was just one problem.

He really wanted to kiss Thomas Jefferson.

Ever since _the incident_ , he had wanted that hand back, had wanted Thomas to be extremely protective again, and he really, _really_ wanted to kiss him. But, he couldn't cross that line. It didn't seem right.

Four days after the incident, Alex sat at his desk, chewing on the end of a pen. Jefferson hadn't been in the room since 8 am- he was attending a congress meeting. Now, as the clock neared 2 pm, Alex had completely relaxed, going as far as to take his hair out of his usual ponytail and drape is suit jacket across his desk. He was looking over a poem written by Hercules, helping him revise it over the phone.

"You've been quiet for, like, an hour. Is it that bad?" Hercules questioned.

"No, no, it's just confusing. You use a lot of contradictory statements." Alex reassured him. "I swear it's good."

"Alright, can you just rewrite it and let me take credit?" His friend asked. Alex scoffed.

"I will revise it, and you can take credit. I'm not rewriting a poem for your boyfriend."

"Fine, thanks man. I owe you one." Hercules sighed in relief.

Alex laughed. "You owe all of us a lot. Remember the night you got drunk at that bar and we saved you from-"

"I remember!" He shouted, making Alex laughed harder. "No need to remind me of my mistakes, I'll take all three of you to dinner tonight. My treat."

"It can't be at that sushi restaurant though." Alex informed him. Hercules groaned.

"No fair. Where else are we supposed to eat?"

"Literally anywhere else." Outside the door, Alex heard Thomas shouting. "Herc, I gotta go, the boss is back."

"Dinner is at 7!"

"Okay, okay, text me where. Bye."

He hung up right as the door slammed open, Jefferson storming in. He closed the door with a resounding slam, making the whole office shake. Alex stared at him as he rummaged around in his desk, pulling out what seemed to be car keys.

"Get your shit, Alexander, we're leaving." He grumbled. Alex collected his things, pulling on his jacket and moving to put his hair back up. "Keep it down. It suits you. Come on."

He followed Jefferson through the building, watching as people avidly ducked out of his way. Alex wondered exactly what he was in for as they stepped outside. The sky was grey and cloudy, making Alex bite his cheek nervously. He hated thunder, and he prayed he wouldn't be with Jefferson when the sky opened.

Alex was ushered into a sleek grey car, Jefferson climbing to the driver's side. As Alex got situated and buckled, he felt Jefferson grab his wrist.

"Do you have plans tonight?" He questioned.

His chest ached. He missed his friends, his job had kept him almost completely isolated from them, but he wanted to go with Jefferson. He _needed_ to find out more about this man.

"No." Alexander hated himself for saying that.

"Good."

They pulled out of the parking lot and onto the streets of DC, the midday traffic light. The hand on his wrist didn't move, and Alex didn't make an effort to move it. They sat in a comfortable silence as they drove, the buildings of DC melting into the open highway. Jefferson moved his hand away to dig in the center console, pulling out a cigarette.

Alex didn't know he smoked.

"There's a lighter in there, will you grab it?" He asked Alex, making the man nod. He dug around and found a Zippo. After lighting the cigarette for him, Alex felt an engraving. Turning it over, he read the words.

**For the love of my life, from Sally**

A sick feeling sat in his gut. He put the lighter away and resumed his task of looking out of the open windows, losing track of time in his thoughts.

_Thomas claims he's gay, so who the hell is Sally? And why the fuck is he so mad? What pissed him off so much that he snatched me from work? And why did I agree to come? He could murder me. He could end my life._

Baltimore is where they ended up. They pulled up to a townhouse, and Jefferson cut the engine. Alex followed him up to the house, and inside.

"Home sweet home away from home." Jefferson muttered. Alex looked around, amazed by how beautiful the place was. It was small, as to be expected, but gorgeous. Much better than his own apartment back home.

The hardwood floors gleamed, and modern, but still homey furniture lined the living room to his right. In front of him was a staircase, and to his left was a door, which probably led to an office of some sort.

"Make yourself comfortable. I just needed a break from that shit show." Jefferson informed him. He shrugged off his blazer and sat on the couch, loosening his tie as well.

Alex followed carefully, losing his jacket and tie. He sat down and slipped off his shoes, curling his legs underneath him.

"Why were you so mad?" He asked, not expecting an answer. Jefferson sighed and puffed on his cigarette.

"I decided to do what you said." He admitted.

"I forget?" Alex prompted.

"About fighting that gay adoption bill. I said it wasn't right and I disagreed. And, of course, they accused me of being biased because I am gay, and so on and so forth. Madison defended me, but it was no use. They accused me of being corrupt and even went so far as to-" He stopped, running a hand down his face in frustration.

"As to?"

"As to call for my removal." He laughed dryly, puffing on his cigarette again. "The president vetoed it, of course, but still. The balls they had to even try and remove me from congress must be huge."

Alex gaped. "If I were you, I would have quit right there."

"Yeah, but I didn't want to end my career, I wanted to make a point. So we stormed out." Jefferson explained. "And I would have left you there, but I'd have felt shitty for ditching you. And that's the gist of it."

"Wow." Alex breathed. "And so?"

"So, we calm down today, and go back to work tomorrow." He said, stretching. He put out the cigarette and leaned back against the sofa.

"If we're going to relax, can I borrow something else to wear? I hate this suit." Alex asked. Jefferson nodded, pointing to the staircase.

"Upstairs, first door on your left. Borrow whatever you want."

Alex thanked him and stood, following his instructions. He walked into a bedroom, one probably the size of his apartment.

The walls were a deep grey, with minimalistic art hanging on them. A huge bed sat against the far wall, covered in black and white sheets. There was a door to his left which was open, revealing a closet, and another on the far wall. Right next to the door was a dresser, which was where Alex searched first.

Everything he seemed to find was way too big, and fell off his body upon the attempt of putting them on.

 _Jesus, how large is this man?_ Alex thought as he knelt, pulling open the bottom drawer. His eyebrows shot up upon seeing the contents.

The drawer was filled with women's clothes. Not only women's clothes, _small_ women's clothes.

_That means they aren't his. So who's are they?_

Everything, from panties to t-shirts, was in that drawer. Alex lifted out some of the garments, finding that they weren't too distinctly feminine, and looked as if they would fit.

_Fuck it._

He threw off his button down and pulled on a grey v-neck, sighing at how soft the fabric was. Then, he pulled off his pants and held up a pair of sweatpants. They were plain black, and obviously warm, which was great news because the townhouse was freezing.

But his boxers would make them lumpy and not quite as warm.

Alex had no desire to go commando, or wear some unknown woman's underwear. Until he found a pair. With the tags on, still in a plastic sack.

They were boy shorts and lavender in color, with white bows adorning the hips.

 _Well, when in Rome._ Alex thought as he dressed. He stood and looked in a full length mirror next to the dresser, nodding his head in approval. He looked good, and the panties were tight, but comfortably so.

Alex made his way back downstairs, glancing at his phone on the way. He had four messages, all from Hercules. Deciding to ignore them for now, Alex walked back into the living room, seeing Jefferson holding a beer, a second sitting on the coffee table. He joined him on the couch, grabbing the other can. The television was playing some movie Alex didn't recognize, but he tuned in anyway, trying to follow the plot.

It was quiet, the two of them sitting together. One of Jefferson's hands rested on Alex's thigh, the other held his beer can.

Maybe it should have been awkward. But to Alex, it wasn't. Most people would have been weirded out by being that close to their boss, drinking through a 12 pack. But Alex wanted to be closer. Thomas' thumb was grazing his inner thigh every time he moved it, and that made him want more.

"You look good in these clothes." Jefferson commented, making Alex blush. "Though, they aren't mine, are they?"

"No," Alex started, then felt Jefferson's hand slip further up his thigh. He gasped sharply, gripping his can tight. "They were in they bottom drawer."

Jefferson hummed, his hand brushing across Alexander's upper thigh, dangerously close. "Girl clothes, aren't they?"

Alex bit the inside of his lip and nodded, looking away, embarrassed. He liked the clothes and how they fit, but wearing them in front of Jefferson probably wasn't the best idea.

A hand found his chin and he was guided to look at Jefferson, who stared at him with hooded eyes.

"Don't get bashful now." He whispered, though it didn't sound like a suggestion. "You look very pretty, Alexander."

All the blood in Alex's body seemed to rush downward. He'd been called pretty, many times, but _never_ in the way Jefferson said it. It was new. It was strange.

Alexander liked it.

"Are you just going to stay silent? I believe I paid you a compliment." Jefferson murmured in Alex's ear, making him shiver, letting his head drop onto Jefferson's shoulder.

"Thank you." He whimpered. Jefferson smiled, attaching his mouth to Alexander's open neck, making the latter whine. Hot kisses were scattered across his neck and jaw, making him press closer to Thomas.

Finally, Jefferson neared his mouth. Alex pulled his head up, locking eyes with his boss.

He looked how Alex felt.

Alexander gripped his shoulders, leaning forward. Jefferson seemed to follow, and their lips brushed one another's.

Thomas jumped back like he'd been burned, standing up. He held a hand over his mouth, looking at the beer cans on the table.

"I, it's getting late. I really should get you home." Jefferson stammered. Low thunder rumbled outside and he cursed, walking to a window. Alex pinched his hand roughly, trying to distract from the tightness in his pants and the fear growing inside of him.

"Guess we're staying here. There's a guest room upstairs. It's across from mine." Thomas explained. "Help yourself to whatever food is in the fridge. I'm, uh, going to bed."

And like that, Alex was left alone, again.

~*~

Alex sat on the couch for who knows how long. He texted Hercules around 6, saying he was swamped with work, and there was no way he was going to make it to their dinner.

He received a group selfie around 7:30.

Rain pattered against the window, and Alex watched it. Jefferson had acted so strange, like he had done something _wrong_ by kissing Alex.

But, had he?

Alex thought. When they had met, there was an instant loathing. Jefferson was rude and arrogant, and Alexander was sure he hated him.

But then, they worked together, and Alex got to know that he wanted a challenge, he was for Planned Parenthood, and so much more. Alex starting realizing that Jefferson wasn't just some snobby conservative who couldn't see because his head was shoved so far up his own ass.

And then, Alex started craving his attention. Ever since the presidential gala, he wanted Jefferson. He wanted the man entirely- he'd even jerked off to the thought of him in the shower!

But, was that wrong? Was it incorrect for Alexander to be attracted to this man? They had only had a very work based relationship up until that point.

Thunder growled, shaking the glass in its pane. Alex moved toward the end of the couch, breathing in counts. Inhale, hold for five, exhale. There was nothing to be afraid of. It's just noise.

Lighting cracked, lighting up the room. Alex squealed, burying his head in his arms. _It's noise_ , he repeated to himself. _It's noise, it's noise, it's noise, it can't hurt you, it's noise._

His breaths were coming in quickly. Hands gripped at his shirt, he whined in fear, trying to keep the noise down. Thunder drowned him out, so he began crying. Softly at first, into his knees, wheezing lowly. But then, his noise level grew, the sobs wracking his whole body.

 _It's happening again! Not again, please God, not again, I'll do anything if you stop this! Please!_ He begged mentally. _Save them, please save them this time! Take me instead! Please, God, take me!_

"Alex!" The voice sounded distant. Who was calling him? Who couldn't he save this time?

"Alexander!" Hands gripped his shoulders and he sobbed, not looking up. "Alex, please, it's me, it's Thomas!"

_Thomas._

The name sliced through his panic, calming his erratic heartbeat. Slowly, panting, he looked up to see Thomas kneeling in front of him.

"Hey, I'm here okay?" Alex began breathing hard again, as thunder shook the house. "Hey, no, no, no, I'm here. No more of that, you need to breathe. Can you do that for me?"

Alex gulped, nodding slowly. Thomas sighed in relief.

"Okay, breathe in, hold it. Release." Alex did as he was instructed, his hands crushing Thomas'. They did that for a while, until Alex was calmed down. Thomas held his face, kissing his forehead.

"Alex, can you hear me? Can you talk?" Thomas' voice was soothing and soft, making Alex relax slightly.

"I-" His voice was croaky, but there. "I can."

"Good," Thomas breathed. "You're okay, baby. I got you."

Alex vaguely recognized the words as he leaned forward, resting against Thomas' chest. His heartbeat was loud, and calming.

"I'm gonna lift you, okay? Then you need to get some sleep." Alex muttered an agreement and Jefferson lifted him effortlessly, walking up the stairs. "Do you want to go to the guest room, or stay with me?"

Alex whined, nuzzling his face in Thomas' neck. The man chuckled, walking into his room.

"Okay, I got you baby doll." Alex felt himself being laid on a mattress, then felt Thomas crawl in next to him. They spooned together, Jefferson's hand running through Alex's hair. "I got you."

Rain still pelted the glass. Thunder still shook the house. Lightning still lit up the room.

But Alex fell asleep to the sound of Thomas' heart.


End file.
